On the (un)conscious, the self, creativity and therapy (part II)

Unlockings again

Before the second seminar on photography in therapy, I was excited and hesitant, I have to admit it. Would it be possible to have the same experiences of unlockings and deeper understandings? In the seminars, we would learn about how photographs can be an asset to work with therapeutic conversations. Now, we met for a second time.

The task was again to choose pictures according to specific prompts. The course leader suggested a series of themes and asked us to choose one. I was curious to explore a theme from the first seminar. As I wrote in the latest blog post, the nature theme emerged in my images, and I appreciated its presence. It seemed to be about future changes and not-so-clear ones, not yet at least. That is no surprise, as in a creative process or therapy, the client is heading somewhere, and exactly how transformations will take place is still being explored and determined.

However, I had problems time-wise with visually exploring the sensations of nature. In a hurry on a typical gray and cold November day, I finally took the camera and went to a park nearby where I work. I had taken photos there now and then during the years. This time, my choice of motives was based more on intuition than intellectual reflection and planning. I even took "cheesy pictures," I noticed.

It's interesting that the intuition to take specific photos (or choose certain motives) is often about images one feels positive around. In contrast, there is often an aversion towards the images one disregards and dislikes (the motives as visual depiction may be just "cheesy" as in my view or something else perhaps not so definable in the very moment).

At the beginning of the photo session in the park, I realized that something soft and pleasant about nature would be difficult to find on this cold November day. I had to change my strategy for what to photograph, and so I did.

Nevertheless, I could see that the softness of my sense of nature was shown in some images as visually expressed with some blurring techniques and colors. Other photos depicted interrupted growth, dominance, protected areas, and a hard-working woman heading for the light on the horizon. If one looks more or less objectively at what the photos depicted. What they actually mean to me can be something else due to my narrative, experiences, personality, preferences, etc. I will express what I sense, or one could say that I would project my inner self on the images.

As the course leader requested, I had a selection of 10 images for the theme of nature - or the sensations of nature. But the images probably wouldn't say much, I silently thought. Some aversion showed up in this disguise of a self-critical stance. And again, I would be surprised and overwhelmed.

A swift, low-intense, and deepening phototherapeutic session

In ISTDP, we discuss self-critical thoughts and feelings underneath. That did not at all happen here. I did not discuss my self-critical thoughts, and the course leader did not explore my feelings or thoughts that way. So, self-critical thoughts were not regarded as a problem to deal with (not to avoid their influence); and they did not turn up as rigid obstacles during the seminar.

You can understand the feeling of not experiencing so much resistance as a client or therapist. Now in hindsight, it was such a relief to be in a flow like a low-intense flow of shared attention towards the photos shared by two persons embracing the roles as therapist and client. Like a smooth and steady social dance instead of dancing with someone who is not inclined to do so and making the dance halt.

Another thing struck me. When we talked about the images, I felt calm, let moment by moment pass by, and I did not at all experience the haste as in having ISTDP supervision or being in a critique class in photography. It might be so easy to talk, talk and talk very much. Like a verbal enactment. Impulses take over, and we might talk a lot about what, how, and when you took the photo or about all you know about the client. If so, there is little room for anything new to emerge; everything has already happened. Yet, over time, one can learn not to go into this mindset and to create another way of telling, relating, and opening up. I am so intrigued by how easy it was in phototherapy.

And then unlockings happened again at the seminar. Something new emerged between the theme (of nature) and me—a bit of air, but I cannot formulate it in words. This sensation still lives with me. Then, we would arrange our pictures. And something new arose again. A picture not from the park but taken shortly before became the picture pointing towards the future.

Our stories include a time perspective

The time perspective is a substantial factor in therapy. In ISTDP, we do not consider it much, although time is very present in our lives and is a factor in everything we talk about. I think the time perspective is crucial for integrating experiences in our narrative and lived life (I will write about this next year).

Again, I had no idea that I was photographing these themes in their entirety, nor that they told this story. The others at the seminar shared similar experiences.

The next task was to choose portraits of ourselves (taken by others or ourselves). Unlockings followed while looking, talking, and arranging the photos, and I saw so clearly how joy was lost in one context and reappeared in another. I knew this, but not that well, I realized, and this time, it became vivid without shame and regret. A new kind of understanding emerged, and I can remember it while writing this section.

Phototherapy seems to offer a swift way to integrate deepened understandings and insights, I was impressed. Looking at what was said by the therapist, in my case the course leader, I cannot say that she did not say anything in the direction of stimulating to relate new understandings in my life lived in the present.

Summing up phototherapy

I do not describe the phototherapy method more closely in this text. This method is solely intended for therapy conversations and no other purposes. Just like with ISTDP therapy, education is needed to work with clients.

So far, I think therapists can use photographs in conversation to stimulate perspective-taking and self-understanding, work through difficult experiences (like family ties), and stimulate a creative and transformative process for clients. You can experience similar insights and new perspectives in ISTDP, but here, new angles and unlockings happen swiftly. Phototherapy takes the social life into account and does not focus solely on intrapsychic processes as ISTDP does.

The swift integration of deeper understandings into the present lived life and one’s narrative was impressive. We all, in our roles as clients during the seminars, could easily integrate the new understandings in our present life (or narrative), I mean as a cognitive and emotional event, not as in behavior outside the seminar.

Imagine that all this data about ourselves already exists in our soul or brain or what we would like to call it. From a creative point of view, of course, it is like this. Yet, we tend to regard unlockings of deepened understandings as something extraordinary if we succeed in getting signals from it (see the latter blog post), instead of considering unlockings as something ordinary and regularly occurring. I wonder if I am too idealistic to think that way, but maybe not. And I also do suggest that there exist other types of unlocking than we work with in ISTDP.

By the end of the seminar, images and themes flourished in my mind - my brain offered a kind of silent cavalcade of images. I was keen to keep an open mind, not overthinking, explaining, or interrupting, so the flow of images could continue.

This second seminar made my inner visual world richer, calmer, and more mobile. I also relate to my photography art practice in a more relaxed way. I have more trust in the process and to experience unlockings when needed. I find it easier to create images in my mind and explore them. I have sought to explain this. Phototherapy might be very fruitful in loosening up shame reactions and creating positive bonds between oneself and what one is doing or aiming for. I am thinking of the relationship between the self and the object of desire.

In the phototherapy seminars, we continued to work on specific themes and prompts, take new photos and select old photos, and arrange and discuss them. One of us took the therapist role and the other the client role. The themes, prompts, and selection and arrangement of images differed across the phototherapy sessions—all depending on what the person chose as theme and photos.

I might return to the subject of phototherapy again, as I am interested in better understanding the flow of unlockings, how working with photos can be such a creative and healing process, and how phototherapy makes it all happen so swiftly.